that monkey died for my grin

"and then the last one died..."

Have I mentioned my support for a war on motherfuckers who hunt endangered species?

Odds are that the person who will murder the very last mountain gorilla is alive today. Maybe it is you? There are less than 700 left, it shouldn't take you more than a couple of years to kill them all. Make sure you post video of the last one dying on YouTube, I don't think many people have witnessed an actual extinction as it happened.

the screen is us and we're tv

We can slice the ugly off of you but not out of you:

I accidentally watched part of one of these shows recently, it featured a couple in their 20's. The girl had her labia customized, the guy had ball sack shrunk. They said they were embarrassed to be naked in the light, but now they can fuck all day without blushing. The final scene was them sitting on a boat discussing these facts with their parents. The girl commented to her dad that her boyfriends nuts smack her in a different spot now that they don't hang so low. Her mom suggested that her dad get the procedure done himself. And so on. O, depraved new world that has such people in it!

this is what democracy looks like

Dead people are so funny:

We heard a few reports, in one case corroborated by photographs, that some soldiers had so lost their moral compass that they'd mocked or desecrated Iraqi corpses. One photo, among dozens turned over to The Nation during the investigation, shows an American soldier acting as if he is about to eat the spilled brains of a dead Iraqi man with his brown plastic Army-issue spoon.

"Take a picture of me and this motherfucker," a soldier who had been in Sergeant Mejía's squad said as he put his arm around the corpse. Sergeant Mejía recalls that the shroud covering the body fell away, revealing that the young man was wearing only his pants. There was a bullet hole in his chest.

"Damn, they really fucked you up, didn't they?" the soldier laughed.

The scene, Sergeant Mejía said, was witnessed by the dead man's brothers and cousins.

Gee, I wonder why they hate our freedom? I wonder how much less fucked up Iraq would be today if so many American soldiers weren't sick assholes. Certainly the insurgency wouldn't be so popular. After seeing your brother gunned down and then his killers playing with his body what would you do? Laugh along or get a gun?

Hillary Clinton hates America

Pentagon calls Hillary a traitor. To paraphrase the DOD: "You'll ask what I want, when I want, so shut the fuck up bitch!"

Florida...

Where armed gangs of children force mothers to perform oral sex on their sons before raping them.

wankers

Bunch of potheads take over the British government and now they want to impose stiffer penalties on potheads. Irony got the munchies and choked to death on bangers and mash.

that's how I roll...

It's always funny when rich people decide to build a secret underground lair.
I'm more from the James Bond supervillain school of having a mixed-use facility (debauchery AND world domination), but I can still respect a purely recreational lair dedicated exclusively to sex and drugs.

Solomon's gold

A microcosm of the world.

weed for war

Did you know that people who grow weed are terrorists?

a drug against war

Republicans are scared of darkie

What happens when the NAACP invites all the Republican presidential candidates to a debate?


Embarrassing things happen.

war animals

In Iran someone has got squirrels kitted out with spy gear.

In Iraq the British have released man eating badgers.

It's a mad world.

Senator's wife cuts his dick off

Republican family values:

"I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary," she said. "If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

I don't think she has done it yet, but it just came out that he was cheating on her with a prostitute so it's only a matter of time before she cuts his dick off.

smoke for your health

Cigarettes prevent Parkinson's disease. WTF?

someone torture this guy already!

Gonzales is perpetually unable to tell the truth. Clearly he just needs a bit of the old "enhanced interrogation." I'm sure we could get Dick Cheney to hook some electrodes up to Alberto's balls...

Republican Justice

Any man who goes by the name "Scooter" probably won't survive long in prison, so perhaps Bush wanted to save Scooter Libby's life.

More likely is Bush didn't want Scooter to talk.