The Bible, interpreted literally

"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away."

eat me, drink me

"That's when two guys stood up and showed us their Jesus tattoos," she said. "They started yelling at us and telling us we have no savior. I started to yell back when one of them spat in my face," Krischanvich said. "I didn't let it bother me, and I told him, 'Jesus turned the other cheek,' and that is when the fight started."

Republican Jesus doesn't turn the other cheek, he bitchslaps faggots, kikes, and ragheads. Learn your place untermensch.

Republicans fear darkie

So cared of big black men they're willing to pay $20 to give 'em head!

Jesus = teh sexy

What is it with the conservative Christians and sex?

Of course they don't say what exactly Pastor Beard was busted for, except that Ted Haggard didn't get methed up and fuck him in the ass. But chances are, if it's enough to get him fired it involved going mano y mano with someone...

Dear Christians, if you like gay sex even a little bit deep down where you don't tell anyone about it except Jesus - YOU ARE GAY. It's too bad that Jesus hates faggots like you.

soy is part of the gay agenda (update)

The very manly and 110% heterosexual Jesus General (yes, that is his real name) has written a letter of support to the patriot who exposed the gayifying effects of soy on our children I mentioned previously.

god hates fags

I'm all for free speech, but I can't help but feel a bit of schadenfreude.